Some Things Never Change
One time when we were out on the smoker’s patio, a friend of mine cocked his head to the side and looked at me for a solidly uncomfortable period of time. Then he spoke, “You just firmly believe you’ll be a kid forever, don’t you? Like you just view yourself as a non-adult.” It was almost as if he was in awe (or maybe that’s just how I decided to take it). I took a hit of my vape while I mused on his declaration, and I said, “Yeah, that’s pretty accurate.”
I tend to go through life in a dry and bemused manner, not really taking much seriously, always searching for the fun. I probably spill things more than most adults. I have an intense fascination with dinosaurs. I love Scooby-Doo. I have been known to tactlessly point out the obvious (up to and including pointing directly at people). I will outright DEMAND cookies and candy (treat yoself). And, I come home with skinned knees from playing outside way more than my other 30-something counterparts. I am a kid. I just know more dirty words and I can probably beat most other kids at arm wrestling.
There’s this great dichotomy of advice that I’ve heard my whole life, “you can’t change people once they’re a certain age” and also “people change.” Well, which one is it? Do people change or do they not?
I’m of the opinion that they do. Whoever said the first one maybe just wasn’t aware of the slow rate of change we all experience. Or maybe they were referring to something much more intangible than behaviors (behaviours if you’re Jules), something more like the ethereal fluffy stuff that makes up the core of one’s being.
The sum total of your life experiences do indeed change; they’re added to.
I’ve experienced a time of deep transition, but I guess you could say that about anything because experience never stops while you’re living.
(If you’re like, “Whoa now. Hold on there Descartes, I didn’t think you were gonna go all deep on me like that” — trust me, I can get much more crass, and probably will… later.)
So, since I’ve been going through SO MUCH CHANGE in such a short period of time — will it change me?
…Of course it will.
Do I still view myself as a kid at heart?